Families go through tough times. They argue and fight. But when it becomes violent and abusive behavior, it’s not OK. Children raised in a home where they don’t feel protected could suffer from mental illness and have a poor physical and emotional life later on in adulthood if they have been exposed to domestic violence.
When you are a victim of domestic violence, surviving the abuse and removing yourself from the situation is the first step towards choosing positive paths. However, it’s not the only thing you can do, it’s just a beginning. Finding your peace emotionally and looking to the future in a positive way is a long journey in itself.
When the abuse is over and you have made the basic arrangements for the future life, you may expect to feel happy. However, it could take more than that to feel great again. Here are a few tips that would help you make positive decisions and reclaim your happiness after separating from your abusive partner.
UNDERSTAND THE CAUSES OF VIOLENCE
Once you have separated from your violent partner, it’s important to understand what caused violent and abusive behavior in the first place. It is important to understand and be aware, that you are not the cause of the abuse, it is never the victim’s fault that they were abused despite what you have been told. Was there some mental health issue with your partner, was it their upbringing, where they a substance abuser or did they have anger management issues? Potentially it could be all of these reasons and more. Learning about the reasons could help you make the right decisions in the future.
Here are some factors that often contribute to domestic violence in Australia and elsewhere in the world.
- Childhood experiences
- A major shift in life
- Financial and physical insecurity
- Gender-related aggression and patriarchal means of control
- Social forces
- Abusive use of drugs and alcohol
LOOK AFTER YOURSELF AND MAKE POSITIVE DECISIONS WITH FOCUS ON ‘YOURSELF’
One of the important positive decisions to make after domestic violence is to regain your lost confidence by looking after yourself during the healing process. You won’t be able to achieve everything right away but it’s a process where you make changes to your lifestyle and bring the focus back on you.
Sometimes, you may have to make huge changes to your life such as separation, moving homes, jobs or recreating a new life to ensure that you continue to make positive decisions in the future. Don’t be afraid to make these BIG decisions. Think about yourself and your well being and these positive decisions will seem easier to make.
If you don’t feel like making major changes to your lifestyle at this time, it’s OK. You can set realistic future goals and take one thing at a time. No matter what approach you take, be sure to put yourself first. Here are a few tips that could help you boost your outlook and get back to the best of your confidence.
- Learn to reward yourself
- Take out time for yourself every day even when you have crazy busy schedule
- Learn some creative arts and try writing or crafting
- Explore new skills that could help you achieve wellness (think yoga, swimming, etc)
- Learn self-defense skills to regain your confidence
- Eat well and get proper sleep
Finally, you can make positive changes in your life after separation from a violent partner by reconnecting with your friends, colleagues, and relatives. Spend time with someone everyday so that you can talk and relieve stress. Most importantly, think positive and look at the brighter side of the picture. Taking stand against your domestic partner is a HUGE step towards your happiness. Now make small changes and you will see your life changing for good.